naïve

 naïve 

You know that pity feeling, where you question yourself, "How could I be so naïve, how did I fall for it again, why do I believe everything that comes out of their mouth, what kind of magic power do they have over me?" A feeling over which you have no control, you can not force yourself out of it, the kind of feeling that makes you go over the same situation again and again and it has no limits.

 

The feeling where the entire world, all your loved ones are showing you the signs, you know it, even you know it is true yet you choose to be blind and end up believing their bullshit again, you fall into that darkness again, you choose to be naïve again. Yet you still wanna live in delusion and come up with situations where you defend them, yet you dream life with them, yet you wish they would fight for you, yet you wish they would choose you, and come back running to you. Why make yourself go through all the misery and hell, why live up to them, why showcase your vulnerability in front of the entire world to have their validation and then end up being replaced. 

Wake up Sweetheart, Open your eyes they don't deserve you and you don't deserve this. 

- Celine Kaya