GROWING UP OR APART ?  

The world is a hell hole, you know. Let's be honest, it is. You and I will never know where we will end up eventually. Sure, we have it all planned out. 3 years of college, 2 years of MBA, and then a job or a startup, right? We are told that it's all part of growing up, completing school, college, post-grad, and finally getting your job; it's all a process of growing up. But what if I tell you I feel like I am growing apart, apart from myself, my friends, my family, my loved ones, and my brother? I am so messed up with my schedule that I can't make time for them. When I come back from college, I go into my room and close the door behind me, leaving no space for communication with my loved ones. Why is growing up leading to growing apart from people I don't want to? I don't want to be the person who is constantly nagging about their misery, but that's who I have become, and I have created a wall where I am no longer allowing others to pass through. I am not letting anyone see my misery, my success, my hard work, or my passion. I have locked myself in a room with no transparency, and I guess that's what adulting does to you. You learn a lot of things when you start growing up: you start compromising, you start prioritizing, and you start saving. 

I believe growing apart is part of the process of growing up. You cry in your room at night, you stare at the ceiling at 3 a.m., you rethink all your life decisions, and you get into a war with yourself  a war you didn't initiate, but there it is. This is the time you need to be alone. You need to do it all alone: cry, study, make life decisions, prioritize yourself, compromise, focus, chill, and be at peace in that same place alone. Growing up should have been fun, and easy because you and I crossed all the hurdles: school, college, placement, examinations, interviews, career decisions, and internships. We did it all; we went over everything, so why does life get you to the road not taken? Why do we have to choose between growing up or apart?

Complete graduation at 20, do masters till 22, have the perfect job with a great package by 25, and then get married to the love of your life, which, by the way, you and I still have to find and settle for by 30. This timeline sounds like folklore; our grandparents keep narrating, and we all know that’s not the reality. We all know we need time to process that life is not going to be about friends, festivals, and concerts anymore; it will revolve around the corporate industry, tax, stipends, and clients, but adulting teaches you a lot. It shows the importance of people around us; it teaches you how to survive in hard conditions; and it teaches you what matters in life: that at the end of the day, you do need friends; you need people to share your problems with, rant your lungs out in front of, and show them your scars in order to let them heal you. Because one heals in silence, but with someone by your side, you don't just heal but also evolve and grow. And yeah, you will be fine. No matter how much you overthink or how much you try to make your life perfect, You're never going to make it out alive. So it's good to make mistakes, it's okay to cry, and it's okay to sometimes just give up and let your close ones help you get up on your feet. Because at the end of the day, there is no manual for life. You just have to trust your gut feelings. 

- Celine Kaya