NOTHING'S NEW 

From being the most skilled person to not being accepted into any media house, where did I go wrong? When did I start living life like a failure? When did I stop prioritizing my skills? Where did I lose all my confidence? And how did I lose everything in the blink of an eye? How do I keep living like a dead person with no hopes, dreams, or ambitions? 

I wake up every day with a little hope of acceptance. I open LinkedIn, connect with people, apply for jobs, and internships, look for opportunities and escape, trying to make myself proud in my own eyes, but all I receive are rejection emails, making me feel incapable and undeserving in this hugely competitive world, leaving me alone in a room full of darkness, and that's when reality hits hard. When people ask me, “Are you okay?” and I leave that message on seen I don't know what to tell them or explain to them how I am because nothing’s new. I wake up, brush, open my laptop, apply for jobs, get rejected, search for more jobs, watch a sitcom, go to sleep, and I don't know how much I can keep living like this. 

No one taught us that rejection is going to be a major part of growing up, that drowning in your sorrow is going to be a routine, that fighting with your demons every night is constant, and that fighting your insecurities is salient now that every corner of this house is haunted by your demons, fear of rejection, disappointment, and failure. Only you can save yourself from this misery; only you can make nothing’s new into everything’s new. 

- Celine Kaya